The Best Thing I've Ever Had In My Mouth!

This is not a joke people! This is an amazing slice of delicious truth that combines in your mouth creating a taste sensation that only the Gods could hope to produce. Do I exaggerate? Yeah of course I do, it’s kind of what I’m all about.

I recently met a friend for a drink after work, and as things usually go with a drink, one became two, which became many. Then of course what happens after a few drinks in a bar? No, not stumbling out with someone you’ve picked up. Something better.

Snack time, and what I ask you is the best pub sharer of them all. It is of course the amazing union of tortilla chips, salsa, soured cream and cheese. Street Name. Nachos! It’s a little heavenly party in your mouth with every bite. You don’t have to choose one taste; you got a plethora of taste sensation all in one. It’s sheer genius.

This however is not the end of the tale. Something better than the sweet taste of Nachos presented itself to me. My mate and I chatted over what to order and I put my feelings for nachos on the table- without as much gusto as I perhaps have in this instance- but to my delight the idea was met with more happiness than I had hoped for. We both shared an unhealthy love for Nachos.

After a brief moment of laughter and chat over this mutual love that had brought us closer together I stood up and made my way over to order.  Before I could step far she casually called after me.

“Get the pulled pork”

To which I replied.

“What like I sandwich.”

Through the distorted chatter of the bar she called back to me. I couldn’t have heard her right. I headed back to the table and apologised.

“Sorry” I said. “I thought you said pulled pork nachos.”

“I did!” She told me.

What in the sweet name of Baby Jesus was this bitch talking about? Someone had decided that nachos and pulled pork were not good enough separately but they had to be combined? What gourmet genius came up with this idea? Adding delicious shreds of pork to an already amazing share platter just blew my mind. Would my taste buds be able to handle this barrage of awesomeness it was about to receive? I was excited to find out.

Giving little regard for the price increase adding the pork would cause I made my way through the crowd to order the nachos and sat back and waited for them to come winging their way over to us.

When they arrived it was more than I could have dreamed of. Literally, the pile of food was more than I had ever seen in my life. I mean these guys weren’t messing around. There was easily enough food for a table of 5, but never one to turn down a challenge I attempted my first bite of “Shredded Nachos”. I believe I coined that phrase but don’t hold me to it. 

I picked up the triangular cheese covered corn of salty goodness and began swooping down into the ingredients like an eagle diving for its prey. I smothered the spicy tomato salsa on first, and then topped it with cool soured cream and guacamole. With great anticipation I placed a forkful of barbecue glazed shredded pork onto the already toppling mound of food and slowly, for fear of dropping any of it, brought it to my mouth.

It was an explosion of taste.  More than I’d hoped for. Every ingredient brought something to the table and complimented each other effortlessly. The amalgamation of flavours combining together in my mouth made for an exquisite orgasm of deliciousness. Not only did the sweet barbecue shredded pork round off much of the taste, but it also topped off the texture perfectly. Never again could I go back to plain old nachos. This would now always be my sharer of choice.  Like I said, it was the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth. I wasn’t lying!

Re-reading this I have come to terms with how much I actually love food, and I will always be a chubbly lovely! But got damn I gotta say, there’s no way skinny could make me feel any better than those bloody nachos!