Stepping well Into Christmas, and Straight into Bankruptcy!

It has been a long while since last we met, but who knew that opening a new pub could take up so much of your time! Anyway with things up to Christmas not looking any clearer my blogs will be few and far between until the New Year where hopefully I’ll have more time to have a life and not just be re-using pub and customer anecdotes, hence the lack of writing. With a few mulled wines warming up my system, and some time to myself I’ve decided to jot a few thing down, and the main point is CHRISTMAS! I don’t know what it is about this one but I have well and truly decided to deck not only mine but everyone else’s halls this year. I have literally never been so excited for my Christmas to start and it officially began for me on the first of December. I have well and truly jumped straight into Christmas and am taking down whoever I can with me. It could be that my little nephew Jackson is going to be having his first Christmas, or the fact that we lost Uncle Pad this year, but something in me is just screaming to Santa!

The only problem with the festive season coursing through my veins is that money has all of a sudden become no object to me. I will spend on anything that has Santa or any generic Christmas Item relating to it just to spread as much Christmas cheer as I can! Presents! Money is haemorrhaging from my wallet like I’m allergic to it, or there’s some sort of challenge I’ve given myself to see how quickly I can spend my wages! If it wasn’t for Dan keeping a strict eye on our bills then we’d definitely be decorating our cardboard box traipsing around East London!

I’m actually blaming internet shopping though because whenever I spend on my card I feel like I’m not even using real money, and there’s some sort of fairy that will pay off my credit card bill for me. I’m shocked when I hear that no one else has this special fairy! Such items that I’ve spent on is £60 for a shockingly small tree, because it came already decorated, then I waltz into B&Q only to see they have 6Ft trees. Real trees. That have grown in the ground, for the same bloody price. I smile though and say “It’s Christmas”. The only event other than your Birthday when you can justify spending money on whatever you want, and there’s nothing anyone can say.

“You spent how much on a tree?” –“Hey it’s Christmas”

“You spent how much on Christmas CD’s?”-“Hey it’s Christmas.”

“ You spent how much on your his and hers personalised stockings with each of your names hand stitched onto it, just because it was on offer for an extra tenner to have the names put on when you know your mum can do it for free?!”

The examples go on and on. There is just something about this time of year though that makes me just want to be happier, be nicer, and spread a little more cheer. Yes, I understand a lot of the time the cheer is substituted with annoyance, but how nice is it to just be with people you love and have a glass of mulled wine, or spiced cider, and just enjoy being with each other. People are just so busy these days, everyone has so much going on, and when people drift apart it’s always the lack of time and commitments to other things that make up the excuses. I get that. I understand, but for just one month a year, I think we should just forget about stress and strain as often as we can and just get with the people we love and let them know how much we love them. It’s the time when there’s always something to look forward to, and you can always help out someone else, with a mulled wine, a mince pie, and a bloody huge grin.

Goodbye Uncle Pad

A man so loving, so funny and kind,

A smile for us all and a Beautiful Mind.

Through all of our years guiding us on our way,

All of your wisdom has stayed with us I pray.

Dinner at Nan’s and off to the club you would go,

On with your coat and cap, then a quick “Cheerio”.

In you you had so much love for us to give,

But your poor mortal body could no longer live.

So Angels they came and carried you away,

And now in Heaven above with Bamps you must stay.

Together you both watch over us while we sleep,

But don’t you feel bad for us while we weep.

They are simply selfish tears of missing you,

Remembering all of the little things you would do.

Our memories live on, and the tears will slowly cease,

Because now above Uncle Pad you’re finally at Peace.

The Peaks Part Two

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, it was hot in the sun, and we decided to go for a day out. We wanted to get a full day out, we found a little town not far away, with attractions like cave walking, cave boating, and a Castle we could walk to and explore. We strolled around the town centre, largely populated by pubs, which wasn’t an issue for us. We took in the sights and the locals and looked at the Castle from a far. I mean it was a long bloody walk, but from the bottom of the hill I say we had the best view. Dan and Katie even joined in with the local Rugby team who were doing precision shots for competitions. You had to throw the ball through a small hole from a distance. Dan unfortunately got his ass kicked by a girl, and Katie walked away victorious with a 4-1 win

It was cute and picturesque, with some really quirky shops for us to check out. One we found was a little on the strange side, it looked like the shop where people in the town’s stuff went when they die! We saw a mixture of really old antiques, some really beautiful stuff. Then came the sex toys, followed by a Shane Ward calendar, and a closed door that read “Massage Parlour Closed”! We were hoping at the time that it was a joke, but the owners didn’t seem like the people with that kind of humour. Combining that with the slap and tickle set, and handcuffs I think it’s safe to say we found a Pulp Fiction style basement shop.

We left with some haste and continued to explore the little town more. Unfortunately with the pub stops we missed the caves being over, so hung out at the entrance. I loved the wetness, and the fresh feeling that came from being in the caves. I can’t imagine what being inside would have been like, but from where we were it was just absolutely beautiful. I am always in awe of what nature can create.

We had a great day, we ate and drank and enjoyed each other’s company, even though we didn’t get around the attractions. The most fun was making our own fun. The weather was on the change and in began to pour down, so we made our way home to say bye to Laura who was going home to go on holiday.

Dan cracked on with making a feast for us all, and we decided to have a friendly game of Trivial Pursuit. I use the term “friendly” very loosely. We split into groups of three, and before we knew it we were locked in a ferocious game! Answers had to be word perfect to what was on the card. The timer could not drop a grain over. Iphones, and Ipads were brought out and I’m sure Google nearly crashed in the race to even question the super genius who wrote the game. Over time it became a two horse race. My team which consisted of Laura, Helen, Mia, Amy, and me were quickly thought of as, and I won’t beat around the bush, we were The Thick Team. I personally think we were just plain old havin’ a laugh!

While the others fought their way to the desirable cheese pieces, we knocked back some beer, flicked though some magazines, and got down to Glee. By the time the fates stepped in and we were in the lead, the others decided to call it a draw rather than losing to us.

The night turned to terror when Mia began making people drinks with her, as I now know them to be called, Mia Measures. With sniper precision she took each of us down one at a time. You’d never expect it from her angelic face, but the minx knew what she was doing, and my head really felt it the next day.

The night was full of drinking, singing and dancing which burned into the early hours of the morning, which ended in a medley of Disney Classics songs, from Aladdin to The Little Mermaid. Bed came quickly after.

I don’t know if I could recommend the Peak District to anyone who wanted to go, or even tell you for sure where we went. I can however tell you it was one of the best weekends I’ve ever had with a group of amazing friends.

A Different Look at the Peak District

5am is not a pretty site on a Saturday morning, and with only one hour sleep it looks even uglier. Lying in bed cursing my fella as the sound of my alarm blared on.

“Why’d he have to book the train so early?”

I didn’t have time to dwell on that though, so on the count of three I was up and in the shower with only the thought of getting some fresh air in the country, and seeing some chums to perk me up. We finished our packing and left in pretty good time, still with the bloody tube works we barely made it. We hit our sits breathless and settled down for a nice kip, and off we went. A quick change at Stockport which through tired eyes I hardly remember , then we were there.

The weekend had been planned for Dan’s friend Helen who’s going travelling in a couple of weeks, so 15 of us had rented a converted barn in Buxton in the Peak District. Dan’s been friends with his gang since school, and they’ve always remained really close despite them being in different areas of England due to Uni, and jobs etc. I’ve known them all about two years now so I was pretty excited to see everyone as well. We were the last to arrive, we had to work the Friday night so explains the lack of sleep, I did regret getting drunk in work because I was still a little drunk when we got there!

The pyjama party was still going strong when we arrived, people still feeling it from night one of the barn, they were still with it enough to give us hugs and hello’s though. The barn was gorgeous, with a massive open plan kitchen and living area, two toilets, and two showers, and two beds. Yes, that was two bedrooms for 15 people, we were split into couples and each couple shared the cutest little bunk beds. It reminded me of a school trip when you were a kid. We had some brekkie and headed off for a little explore to go trekking.

We found a lake and decided to head over, though when you’re in the country it’s called rambling, so we rambled on over when we came to a simple little wall we had to climb over. Easily enough everyone got over, until it came to my go. I don’t know how but I missed judged the little wall, slipped and took part of the wall with me. We bolted before the police would arrive and throw me in jail for damaging property!

We killed an hour or so, exploring, skimming rocks, gave some cocky looking sheep dirty looks, and even managed to adopt a dog. Colin. He joined the pack when we were making our way back to the car, he didn’t appear to have an owner around and just kept tailing us. We found a family of dog lovers walking their two hounds, but rather than helping Colin, we watched on, helplessly as poor Colin was mounted by another dog! This led me and Helen to question whether or not dogs care if they get it on boy girl style, and boy boy style? This question was never answered annoyingly!

Colin didn’t seem fazed so maybe that was a clue. We decided he would be fine and headed back to town. We even managed to pull over the Police. Yes in some twist of fate, a car full of civilians pulled the police over. That for me was the greatest definition of Karma. We told them about poor violated Colin we’d left in the car park, and I now hope he’s been adopted by Officer Handsome and is a police dog patrolling the streets of Buxton, that would be nice.

Our good deed, and hour doing the things you do in the Peaks had earned us a few pints and a watch of the ruggerz. It was great in theory to the country but let’s be fair, we were all thinking pub, pub, pub.

Back at the barn, the plan was take away. Everyone was KO’d and not in the mood for cooking, so we ordered a delivery. Here’s when this little anecdote takes a turn, the word delivery to me means you get brought your food. No, no my friends, this was not the way. Twenty minutes after our food was meant to arrive, we had a call. Our food was lost in the wilds! In true cavemen style, our group split into two some going to forage for our food, while the rest stayed back and made camp! Got the plates out, had a tidy then had some drinks! Same, same though.

Two hours after our ordered, and the heroes returned victorious, with their catch in hand. The barn went silent, no one spoke as we chowed down. We ate, chatted, played random drinking games which I plan to pass on for generations to come, then barely alive from the longest day of our lives, me and Dan headed for bed. I reminisced of my first brush with the Peaks, we’d seen a dog get molested, had to go looking for our take away in the back of nowhere and even managed to pull a police car! That was only the first day as well!

A Very Jager Reunio

I sat looking into the toilet bowl, my self-respect at an all-time low and the beginning of the hang over downer looming, all I could think was, what another crackin’ family gathering!

It started with my cousin Simon getting married in Mexico to his lovely, now wife, Michelle. With it being an intimate wedding in a plush hotel, family and friends couldn’t make it to share they’re day, so like many couples who take the wedding abroad route, they decided to have a party when they got back, which happened last Saturday.

Our family is pretty big. My boyfriend who didn’t know a single person at this shindig, will vouch for the fact we can fill a venue pretty easily, and that’s just immediate family! The sad thing about our clan like a lot of others is that we’re all dotted across England and Wales, and seeing each other all together is few and far between. The last time we’d all been together was two years ago, and not only that, this was the first evening event in I can’t remember the years where we’d all be drinking and not traveling home. I know I’m over explaining this but you have to understand that we had all geared up to make this a big one.

We arrived in a tornado of exciting meets and greets, and introductions for Dan of cours. It began civilly. Wines, Beers, Spritzers, chats, and pleasantries, however one phrase changed that for the rest of the night. Jager Bombs!!!

We congregated at the bar, not giving the poor bar boys a chance to catch their breath. Whenever I turned around a drink was handed to me. When that was finished another full glass took its place, we each took turns getting a round of Bombs in, then bombs turned into Tequilas, then immediately went back to Jagers when we came to our senses. The night continued in a mix of great banter, cuddles from the girls and “I love it when we’re all together”. The ladies obviously took to the floor, to classics such as Rihanna, Black Legend and obviously The Dirty Dancing Theme, which I thought was great point to turn to my younger cousin Paul and say catch me! Lucky enough he declined.

The thing I notice about being the younger one of the family is that you’re always watching out for getting caught doing something stupid. From family dos in the past I always remember this. It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how long you’ve been out in the world on your own, when you get together with the family you always revert back to a child like sort of demeanour. This however was not the case, because the very people I would usually behave in front of were the ring leaders in this gathering.

Too quickly the bar was shutting, but not before my brother in law could buy 12 Jager Bombs and 12 Tequilas! The rush of the final shots, led to chants of “We’re all going to town”. We gathered in circles and continued the chants, ridiculing the cousins who wouldn’t join us.

My Mum, and sister were the unfortunate ones to taxi us down to town. This couldn’t have been pleasant for them! On the journey it wasn’t too long before Paul shoved his head out the window yelling “Bus Wankers” at passersby, and in true Inbetweeners Fashion we were stopped at traffic lights. Lucky for us Bromsgrove isn’t the kind of place where people will attack your car.

We got in the club and the drinks continued! Round after round. We danced to ridiculous songs in even more ridiculous styles. We chatted, and then it gets a bit dark. I don’t know the time, or when it was I got lost, but it was while dancing on the stage among other piss heads I looked around thought, it’s time to go. Taxi!

So back in my Aunt’s bathroom. A little worse for wear, and feeling as bad as I did, it was all worth it. It’s always great when you’re reminded how great family is, and how great it is to all hang out, be with each other, and having a great time. Even through my alcohol hazed memory!!

Like A Bat Outta Hell!!!!!!

It was 3pm on Friday, and I had that real Friday feeling just rushing through my veins. The weekend I’d been planning for months had arrived, and I only had two hours to wait then I was on my way to see my ladies. Three of my best friends were travelling all the way from good ol’ Welsh Wales to the Big Smoke for a visit. It wasn’t only the first time they were visiting me in my three years in Londinium but the first time we were going to be together for as long as I can remember, I couldn’t wait!

With the speed of a child at the school bell I ran out the doors of my pub, where I’m Assistant Manager, bid the guys a good night with a smug look on my face as the pub busied up, and I was off. I got to my sisters where we were meeting and waited for their imminent arrival! What I didn’t realise, my friend Leah was driving. To someone who doesn’t know Leah this can be confusing. You’ve heard of the phrase “You’ll be late for your own funeral”. This was written with Leah in mind. We have been Bezzies for 15 years, and in all that time she has not only never been on time for anything, but never been less than two hours late for anything! So once again me and my sister Gemma waited. The

majority of the bloody night we waited!

Busying ourselves with Gemma’s new baby, wine and fake bake, eventually they arrived. We squealed, delighted, reminisced about the good old days like good old friends do, and drunk champagne and wine. Like Welsh girls do! Before we knew it we were girlied out, and it was time for bed. Little did we know another guest had decided to join the party!

From downstairs I heard Hayley and Leah scream and scarper across the landing into mine and Nicola’s bedroom. I ran tearing up the stairs and straight into their room. I ran into the room where I was smacked in the face by a bat! I couldn’t have been more surprised if Tony Montana stood there with a baseball bat in his hand to beat me to death. This was a real, living breathing, nocturnal, what the hell are you doing in my sister’s house, BAT!

Like I said there were four girls. So like any girls in a high adrenaline situation we let our instincts take over and did what came naturally to defend ourselves from this creature of the night. We screamed. Then we screamed some more. Then Gemma came running and she screamed. Then the baby screamed. We turned to Steve my sister’s husband to come and save the day. He came bounding up the stairs, ready to defend us like any Alpha Male when his home is threatened, and opened the door where the fanged beast was, and you guessed it. He screamed! Hope was lost.

So the situation was, he was in there and we were in the hall.

No one dared open the door. Time ticked on, and for all we knew the little shit could have been redecorating in there. It was obvious that none of us were willing to take the plunge and take that bastard out. Someone had to do something. I don’t know if it was our friends in peril, my nephew in danger, or just the buzz of the wine and champagne but before I knew it me and Hayley were dressed top to toe in hoodies and jogging bottoms. Ready for battle. With baseball hats on, and jumpers tied around our faces to protect us (not looking too far from the riot photos on the news!) we were ready to go in. All we needed was a game plan. Go in covertly and take him out peacefully. Or actual plan, run in, throw something at it then shoo it out the window. We knew it was going to be a team effort!

We flew in threw the towel, and it darted around the room. Heading right for us. We dove and ducked as it flapped around our heads. Hayley dove onto the bed screaming “Faye please don’t leave me”! I knew then I was on my own. Through my tears, sweat, and I’m not gonna lie, I probably crapped myself a little, I whipped the towel with all my might and sent that daemon straight back to hell. Or through the closest window. As quick as it had begun it was over. We left the room heroes. A little warmer, wired, and with a great story to begin our weekend.

We Write Because We Write.

We Write Because We Write.

It’s been over a year since I think I’ve written anything. I used to write. I used to write all the time. Everyday. Reviews, Articles, Features, Poems, Short strories. Anything. I wrote because I enjoyed it. I wrote because it helped me. In my everyday life it made me feel good. Whatever happened I wrote about it.

Then for some reason I just stopped.

I finished my degree, and I kept writing. Then I watched, as so many of my class mates went on to write. Professionally write, what I used to call real writing. That’s where I got hung up, and that’s when I forgot the importance of writing. What it means to be a writer.

As soon as I forgot that and began comparing myself to other people, and what they were doing, was when the FEAR began! I lost confidence in myself, my ability, and worse my writing. When I forgot the importance of writing, I forgot how much I loved it.

It was only when I was searching through some old papers that I dicovered a box of all my old writing. A fraction of what I’ve written through my life but ones that mean so much to me I keep them with me at all times. Everyone who is a writer has these stacks of papers. Reading these was when I decided to say ‘to hell with it’. SO I’m going back to basics. I’m writing what I want to make me happy, and I’m putting it out there for all to see. All the little insperations life has to offer! From moving in with my best mate, to opening a new pub in East London. Alot is changing for me over the next few months! There should be ups, and downs, triumphs and fails, but it’s gonna be a fun ride!

Would love feedback of anykind if you care to take a read from time to time. My writing is back and it’s out there with it’s big brass balls in it’s hands!!!!