Cancer We're Coming to Get You!!!!

So you wake up in bed on a Sunday morning, stretch lazily, and you think about what you’re going to do with your day. Do you visit the in-laws? Catch up with some friends? Maybe a little Sunday dinner, then spend the day how Sundays should be spent, being a little bit lazy. Well not The Beziere Beauty Belles!

This particular Sunday, was Race For Life! And I was well up for it, I know me and exercise? Who knew right??

A few weeks ago while out with lunch with our Beauty team in work, I agreed to join them in the race for life that they were taking part in. Cancer is a huge thing in my family. I’ve seen the struggle that it brings to lives, through the losses and survivors. I don’t know why it’s actually taken me this long to be a part of it actually, it’s something that having done it now, I’m really ashamed of.

The day had arrived and we got ourselves prepared and Pink’d up, the 6 of us were ready a raring to go. We joined hundreds of women and children to give a communal “up yours” to Cancer, and it felt awesome. It began rather gloomy though , as we made our way to Loughborough. We drove through fog, overcast and drizzle, a dreary contrast to the heat wave we’d been experiencing the last 14 days! Would we let this dampen our spirits? Hell no! We arrived at the run, attached our numbers, and took in the atmosphere of why we were there, and who we were there for.

We joined in a ten minute warm up on the field, with two fitness instructors taking us through our paces, leading the crowd in a series of stretches, star jumps, and squats. The echo of enthusiasm that ripped through the crowd was electric. We cheered, sang and clapped on cue together, we may have been excited for the cause or simply the fact that we had muscle bound ripped guys in lycra commanding us through the routine! Sorry Guys!

The warm up complete we stood in a minute of silence to remember those we had lost, the ones who had survived, and the mass effect this disease has on us all. The most amazing thing that I realised on this day was the positivity that surrounded everything and everyone. We couldn’t dwell on any sadness, just focus on the reason we were here and what taking part in this will achieve.

The music blasted from the speakers and we were off. The 5K began, and Cancer we were coming to get you. Armed with smiles and laughter, and some severe excitement from some in our little troop, we hop, skipped and jumped around the 5k course. Obviously stopping for a few cheeky candid moments along the way, the fun of getting around the 5K is what it’s all about. People dressed up posed happily with other runners, and chatted about their experiences like lifelong friends. A woman dressed in a onesie stopped to pose with me. She was 54 and had beaten Cancer herself, she was so inspirational. It was such an amazing thing to be part of.

Nearly an hour later, after many hills and dales, we’d done it. We crossed the finish line to rapturous applause from all the supporters. All that was left to do was collect our medals and a free pan au chocolate apparently!  That I didn’t understand, but hey, we weren’t complaining mind you!

The day meant so much to me. I ran for my Nanny Bett and Uncle Pad who we’ve lost in recent years. Looking around throughout the day I continually got choked seeing the signs of I run for…. You never can realise what an amazing cause this is and how it affects so many different lives. I can safely say that I will be a part of this every years now, I’m addicted. Next year we take on the 10k!

This Getting Fit Thing is TOUGH!

So as a distraction from the fact I’ve decided to move back to London, which means I’m currently unemployed, I’ve decided to get fit. Well I say fit, what I mean to say in fitter. So I’ve changed my “eating habits”, that’s what they call it in weight loss classes, and I’m getting my fruit and veg in. Making conscious decisions about what I’m eating. Then last week I thought, it’s time to get into the fitness side of things. Do some exercise and get my heart rate up, in a different way to just running around after my nephew. Which up until two weeks ago I thought was quite an easy task to carry out, but that kid, just, doesn’t, stop, and as result of this he doesn’t want anyone else to stop moving either.

Last week then I bought an exercise DVD, one of those Now Dance ones. I thought to ease myself into it; one of those would be the best. Just like being out with your mates I assumed. Hopefully minus the falling over, and without a drink in hand. Not even. These chicks, plus two guys, are poppin’ and lockin’ all over the place looking fit and energetic and obviously on cocaine, or some other narcotic. Then there I am a little less elegant and a little more than a lot frumpier struggling to keep up with these dance moves that belong in STEP UP 1 through 4. (I don’t watch them for the storyline, just for the dance moves honest!)I mean I looked ridiculous. I learned a lot about myself though. I’m a lot less fit than I could ever have imagined. I have little if no co-ordination when following routines, and if I look as bad as I do dancing when I’m out as I do following these routines then the future of pulling relies on me staying very still.

I stick with the DVD anyway, and start chatting to my friend Angie. She also wants to up her fitness so we decide to take a class. That brings us right up to this evening. I get my gear on, and meet her at the Leisure Centre ready to try Circuits. I understood from what people have said in the past that circuits could be a bit intense, but I assumed you could just go at your own pace. No, no, no. Little did I know that Satan himself ran the class and I had walked into the one of the layers of hell!

We began with jogging, then changing direction, then squats, star jumps, jogging, star jumps, suicides. This continued for only ten minutes, but it felt like an hour had passed. I was sweating and breathless and we were still in the warm up. This was going to be tough. Then it was time to begin the circuits. Breathless in Caterham, Angie and I began the stations, and we attacked that shit. We were sprinting, and punching, dipping, diving, nailing squats and lifts, and we even did this one thing when you had to jump over a horse. I wouldn’t say I nailed it so much as I hit the spring board over shot the horse and landed on the blue safety mat. Staring up at the ceiling I flashed back to my days of gymnastics in school.  Same situation really except in this scenario I had a bald guy named Steve shouting at me to get off my ass. RUDE!

This caused a sequence of events. My gymnastic fail led to Steve keeping a close eye on me and Angie, following us to work harder, do better, and “at least look like we’re working out”. Did I mention he was quite rude?  Then the real pain began. You could see the sheer pleasure in his face as he whipped our chunky butts into shape, and if this wasn’t bad enough the next station we faced difficulty with concerned two giant blue balls. I believe these devil tools are called Swiss balls. The task was to get onto the ball, roll over it until your hands are on the floor, and then do a push ups. Easy. Easy Steve says. Man, I gotta say, I did not look good ladies. Does anyone remember those Ferret things that are attached to the ball that you roll around? I wish I’d looked as good as that! Yeah that guy below! I looked worse than road kill being thrown around. Not an easy task!

Looking at the clock I saw that it was coming to the end and as we finished up I was excited for the cool down. Wipe my sweaty little red face, and take a bucket load of water over me. We spread around the hall, and began “Finishing Exercises”.  What? Where was my cool down? Now, if you know about that video “Insanity”, with the crazy guy who works grown massive men so hard that they cry, this is what we had to do before we could cool down. Those who don’t know this YOUTUBE “Grown man cries after Insanity”. This was how Steve thought we should finish up. Steve is crazy, but, I survived. Yes! Give me a clap, and pass me my medal. What? I don’t get a medal. Shame. What you do get though is a little meeting and socialise up the pub after your work out, just squash though, but nice all the same.

In the car on the way home, I was shocked to realise that not only looking back did I enjoy my crazy intense pushy Steve wok out, but I was looking forward to getting back to it again on Thursday. So that’s me now. Three days a week, tears and tantrums, but eventually I will be fit.....er!

On My Own and it's OK I Guess

There are certain times in everyone’s life where I think a series of events leads you to start playing Damian Rice’s album in your head. You begin to imagine you’re walking down the street in a sort of slow motion caption. I think I've spent a large portion of my 27 years doing this, and I really am not sure when it’s going to stop, because I don’t know how to make it stop. I want to be that person who shakes it off, and doesn't let it get to her, but I’m not that person. Things affect me, and they affect me deeply. This doesn't make me overly emotional, dramatic or intelligent, or even deep. It just makes me prone to gravitate towards negativity, and then just dwell there.

2013 began very well, I remember being really happy, and content. Then again I think I was also on drugs, which could be the reason for the euphoria. There were also fairground rides which I have always been very fond of, and Abba. There was also Abba, which is another favorite of mine. Family. There was family, and alcohol. So adding all these into the equation, this could be the reason for me remembering the beginning of 2013 being so good. When just 5 days into it I’d hit rock bottom. Considering we are now in February, there has been a dramatic change of events in these last 6 weeks or so.

I have not been on my own for a while. In fact since hitting the age where you discover boys, the percentage I have been alone is small. In 12 years I have spent just under two years on my own, not in a relationship. So at 27, which is the time I feel like I should be settling and getting my own place, and knowing who I want to be with, and what I want to do, I’m starting again. I don’t really know where I’m heading, but I think I feel calm about it.

So many people in my job ask me, “is this what you want to do then?” I have to say that I still don’t know, and I’m not even sure I will ever know. I’m not saying that I want to go on a journey of self discovery and do eat, prey, love. I just want to finally know who I am on my own because I think right now I don’t really have a clue. Please tell me no one does, otherwise I’m up shit creek! What I do know though is that I’m probably going to have to say yes to a lot more experiences in order to find out what I like and what I don’t like, and maybe that will be fun. Maybe that’s also what I’ll need to get through this, and then maybe Damian Rice will stop playing in my fucking head!