Cancer We're Coming to Get You!!!!

So you wake up in bed on a Sunday morning, stretch lazily, and you think about what you’re going to do with your day. Do you visit the in-laws? Catch up with some friends? Maybe a little Sunday dinner, then spend the day how Sundays should be spent, being a little bit lazy. Well not The Beziere Beauty Belles!

This particular Sunday, was Race For Life! And I was well up for it, I know me and exercise? Who knew right??

A few weeks ago while out with lunch with our Beauty team in work, I agreed to join them in the race for life that they were taking part in. Cancer is a huge thing in my family. I’ve seen the struggle that it brings to lives, through the losses and survivors. I don’t know why it’s actually taken me this long to be a part of it actually, it’s something that having done it now, I’m really ashamed of.

The day had arrived and we got ourselves prepared and Pink’d up, the 6 of us were ready a raring to go. We joined hundreds of women and children to give a communal “up yours” to Cancer, and it felt awesome. It began rather gloomy though , as we made our way to Loughborough. We drove through fog, overcast and drizzle, a dreary contrast to the heat wave we’d been experiencing the last 14 days! Would we let this dampen our spirits? Hell no! We arrived at the run, attached our numbers, and took in the atmosphere of why we were there, and who we were there for.

We joined in a ten minute warm up on the field, with two fitness instructors taking us through our paces, leading the crowd in a series of stretches, star jumps, and squats. The echo of enthusiasm that ripped through the crowd was electric. We cheered, sang and clapped on cue together, we may have been excited for the cause or simply the fact that we had muscle bound ripped guys in lycra commanding us through the routine! Sorry Guys!

The warm up complete we stood in a minute of silence to remember those we had lost, the ones who had survived, and the mass effect this disease has on us all. The most amazing thing that I realised on this day was the positivity that surrounded everything and everyone. We couldn’t dwell on any sadness, just focus on the reason we were here and what taking part in this will achieve.

The music blasted from the speakers and we were off. The 5K began, and Cancer we were coming to get you. Armed with smiles and laughter, and some severe excitement from some in our little troop, we hop, skipped and jumped around the 5k course. Obviously stopping for a few cheeky candid moments along the way, the fun of getting around the 5K is what it’s all about. People dressed up posed happily with other runners, and chatted about their experiences like lifelong friends. A woman dressed in a onesie stopped to pose with me. She was 54 and had beaten Cancer herself, she was so inspirational. It was such an amazing thing to be part of.

Nearly an hour later, after many hills and dales, we’d done it. We crossed the finish line to rapturous applause from all the supporters. All that was left to do was collect our medals and a free pan au chocolate apparently!  That I didn’t understand, but hey, we weren’t complaining mind you!

The day meant so much to me. I ran for my Nanny Bett and Uncle Pad who we’ve lost in recent years. Looking around throughout the day I continually got choked seeing the signs of I run for…. You never can realise what an amazing cause this is and how it affects so many different lives. I can safely say that I will be a part of this every years now, I’m addicted. Next year we take on the 10k!

This Getting Fit Thing is TOUGH!

So as a distraction from the fact I’ve decided to move back to London, which means I’m currently unemployed, I’ve decided to get fit. Well I say fit, what I mean to say in fitter. So I’ve changed my “eating habits”, that’s what they call it in weight loss classes, and I’m getting my fruit and veg in. Making conscious decisions about what I’m eating. Then last week I thought, it’s time to get into the fitness side of things. Do some exercise and get my heart rate up, in a different way to just running around after my nephew. Which up until two weeks ago I thought was quite an easy task to carry out, but that kid, just, doesn’t, stop, and as result of this he doesn’t want anyone else to stop moving either.

Last week then I bought an exercise DVD, one of those Now Dance ones. I thought to ease myself into it; one of those would be the best. Just like being out with your mates I assumed. Hopefully minus the falling over, and without a drink in hand. Not even. These chicks, plus two guys, are poppin’ and lockin’ all over the place looking fit and energetic and obviously on cocaine, or some other narcotic. Then there I am a little less elegant and a little more than a lot frumpier struggling to keep up with these dance moves that belong in STEP UP 1 through 4. (I don’t watch them for the storyline, just for the dance moves honest!)I mean I looked ridiculous. I learned a lot about myself though. I’m a lot less fit than I could ever have imagined. I have little if no co-ordination when following routines, and if I look as bad as I do dancing when I’m out as I do following these routines then the future of pulling relies on me staying very still.

I stick with the DVD anyway, and start chatting to my friend Angie. She also wants to up her fitness so we decide to take a class. That brings us right up to this evening. I get my gear on, and meet her at the Leisure Centre ready to try Circuits. I understood from what people have said in the past that circuits could be a bit intense, but I assumed you could just go at your own pace. No, no, no. Little did I know that Satan himself ran the class and I had walked into the one of the layers of hell!

We began with jogging, then changing direction, then squats, star jumps, jogging, star jumps, suicides. This continued for only ten minutes, but it felt like an hour had passed. I was sweating and breathless and we were still in the warm up. This was going to be tough. Then it was time to begin the circuits. Breathless in Caterham, Angie and I began the stations, and we attacked that shit. We were sprinting, and punching, dipping, diving, nailing squats and lifts, and we even did this one thing when you had to jump over a horse. I wouldn’t say I nailed it so much as I hit the spring board over shot the horse and landed on the blue safety mat. Staring up at the ceiling I flashed back to my days of gymnastics in school.  Same situation really except in this scenario I had a bald guy named Steve shouting at me to get off my ass. RUDE!

This caused a sequence of events. My gymnastic fail led to Steve keeping a close eye on me and Angie, following us to work harder, do better, and “at least look like we’re working out”. Did I mention he was quite rude?  Then the real pain began. You could see the sheer pleasure in his face as he whipped our chunky butts into shape, and if this wasn’t bad enough the next station we faced difficulty with concerned two giant blue balls. I believe these devil tools are called Swiss balls. The task was to get onto the ball, roll over it until your hands are on the floor, and then do a push ups. Easy. Easy Steve says. Man, I gotta say, I did not look good ladies. Does anyone remember those Ferret things that are attached to the ball that you roll around? I wish I’d looked as good as that! Yeah that guy below! I looked worse than road kill being thrown around. Not an easy task!

Looking at the clock I saw that it was coming to the end and as we finished up I was excited for the cool down. Wipe my sweaty little red face, and take a bucket load of water over me. We spread around the hall, and began “Finishing Exercises”.  What? Where was my cool down? Now, if you know about that video “Insanity”, with the crazy guy who works grown massive men so hard that they cry, this is what we had to do before we could cool down. Those who don’t know this YOUTUBE “Grown man cries after Insanity”. This was how Steve thought we should finish up. Steve is crazy, but, I survived. Yes! Give me a clap, and pass me my medal. What? I don’t get a medal. Shame. What you do get though is a little meeting and socialise up the pub after your work out, just squash though, but nice all the same.

In the car on the way home, I was shocked to realise that not only looking back did I enjoy my crazy intense pushy Steve wok out, but I was looking forward to getting back to it again on Thursday. So that’s me now. Three days a week, tears and tantrums, but eventually I will be fit.....er!

On My Own and it's OK I Guess

There are certain times in everyone’s life where I think a series of events leads you to start playing Damian Rice’s album in your head. You begin to imagine you’re walking down the street in a sort of slow motion caption. I think I've spent a large portion of my 27 years doing this, and I really am not sure when it’s going to stop, because I don’t know how to make it stop. I want to be that person who shakes it off, and doesn't let it get to her, but I’m not that person. Things affect me, and they affect me deeply. This doesn't make me overly emotional, dramatic or intelligent, or even deep. It just makes me prone to gravitate towards negativity, and then just dwell there.

2013 began very well, I remember being really happy, and content. Then again I think I was also on drugs, which could be the reason for the euphoria. There were also fairground rides which I have always been very fond of, and Abba. There was also Abba, which is another favorite of mine. Family. There was family, and alcohol. So adding all these into the equation, this could be the reason for me remembering the beginning of 2013 being so good. When just 5 days into it I’d hit rock bottom. Considering we are now in February, there has been a dramatic change of events in these last 6 weeks or so.

I have not been on my own for a while. In fact since hitting the age where you discover boys, the percentage I have been alone is small. In 12 years I have spent just under two years on my own, not in a relationship. So at 27, which is the time I feel like I should be settling and getting my own place, and knowing who I want to be with, and what I want to do, I’m starting again. I don’t really know where I’m heading, but I think I feel calm about it.

So many people in my job ask me, “is this what you want to do then?” I have to say that I still don’t know, and I’m not even sure I will ever know. I’m not saying that I want to go on a journey of self discovery and do eat, prey, love. I just want to finally know who I am on my own because I think right now I don’t really have a clue. Please tell me no one does, otherwise I’m up shit creek! What I do know though is that I’m probably going to have to say yes to a lot more experiences in order to find out what I like and what I don’t like, and maybe that will be fun. Maybe that’s also what I’ll need to get through this, and then maybe Damian Rice will stop playing in my fucking head!

Train Station Friend!

I arrived at the train station an extremely damp Dalgleish after battling my way through the torrential rain, and winds that blew through Pontyclun. It was a freezing October morning, and my feet were already soaked through. Why I walked out the house wearing summer shoes I’ll never know, but it’s a mistake I won’t make again, as I had to sit through 14 hours in work with no shoes, and no way of drying them. Luckily enough a spare pair of slippers found their way to me so not all was lost!

            Like I said I walked into the shelter at the train station where a couple of people were huddled keeping warm. At half 6 in the morning the platform’s not really busy, so I walked to the farther end to stand alone. I’m not overly sociable during a large portion of the AM, and being wet as well was not adding to my mood. I was stood minding my own business listening to Nick Grimshaw on Radio1 who I love. He’s so much better than Chris Moyles it’s amazing! I feel like we’d be friends, maybe one day I can hang out with him and Harry of 1D fame?! Well a girl can dream.

            So as I was saying I was standing in the shelter when I was tapped on the leg by a man. I didn’t even realise he was sitting on the floor behind me. I jumped away ‘coz to be fair I S*** myself.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise I was stood in the way.” I said to the man sat on the ground that was either still drunk from the night before, or was still drinking.

“That’s okay” He slurred back. Are you on your way to work?”

Oh, Okay so this was going to be a conversation. He was homeless, it was cold and miserable so I though I’d chat. So we had a little convo about where I worked. It means an awful lot when a dirty, drunk man, dressed rather scruffily mocks you for working in a call centre. He had a sense of humour I guess, and I whole heartedly agreed with him! He seemed harmless enough, until the conversation deepened.

“You don’t really stand very high off the ground do you?”

I turned and looked at him, laughing.

“No I guess I don’t.”

He continued to look up at me not saying anything.

“I mean I’m serious, you’re a very little person aren’t you?”

I smiled back at him, what was this obsession he seemed to have with my height? I never even knew I was that short, I always thought I was just a little below average. It wasn’t like I was Thumbelina or anything. I’m like 5ft1. He continued to stare at me, and my smile began to fade as I waited for the train. I looked around trying not to make eye contact as I turned my radio back on and slightly turned away. I wasn’t going to be rude, even if this was getting a little creepy.

            Without me realising he had stood up and positioned himself right next to me. I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye, and nervously started laughing to myself because he was literally inches from my face. I was getting nervous now and he was getting friendlier.

“When I stand up, your even smaller.” I didn’t really feel clever enough to point out to him that this fact was obvious, it’s all just physics! Thank God I could see the train coming as well. I was ready to wrap up this brief encounter before my new boyfriend! I turned to say bye. As I did he was right in my face, literally centimetres from nose. He looked at me dead in the eyes.

“You are so little I could carry you around in a box, or a small container.”

On that note I thought it best to leave with my life in tact. It’s safe to say that I learned my lesson for taking public transport. Back to the car for me I think!

We Don't Say Hello

It meant more to me, Than it meant to you.

A few times a week, You seemed so true.

I walk past you often, Watch  you as you go.

Has anyone wondered, we don’t say hello.

I catch you looking at me with a cheeky smile,

Don’t know what you’re thinking, you play like a child.

We look away quickly so no one will know,

Hoping no one has noticed we don’t say hello.

My only exception to the one major rule,

Not knowing what to think, always feeling a fool.

A welcome distraction from what I know,

And nobody’s questioning why we don’t say hello.

Our time was done before it began,

And You always had me in the palm of your hand.

No more looking or touching it’s time for you to know,

I never understood why you didn’t say hello.

But I’ll think of you fondly in years to come,

Your piercing blue eyes,

Your cheeky nice bum.

I’ll stop looking so down, my feelings I don’t show,

I think someone has noticed we never did say hello.

Moved on, long gone, your ghost hangs around,

I see you in different places all around town.

Never to see you again, flown away like the crow,

Can’t say goodbye when we never even said hello.

Please Don't Call Me a CU*T!!!

This is a desperate plea on behalf of everyone who works in a call centre!

Stop being mean!

It was only when I started working in call centre that I became aware how completely involved in our own lives we can be, and just how stressed out we can get about little things. It’s fair enough we’ve all got a lot on, and we all deal with different stressed and different situations every day, the only difference is that some people can deal with it, and other people lash out about it. We’re used to having everything right now, everything is built around speed. How fast we can have it, and if we can’t get it fast do we even want it? There’s fast food, fast cars, next day delivery, which now seems a bit slow because we can get in day delivery now. We are all impatient assholes and I now have to listen to this everyday as part of my job. My job is to take shit off other people, and sometimes this makes me sad.  We don’t even take the time to think about what we’re saying to other people, or how it can affect their day. I mean I get it, in our own little worlds we are important but look at the grand scheme of things and our problems can be insignificant.

                I’m actually writing this while a guy is ranting in my ear. I literally cannot get a word in because he’s so angry he has barely taken a breathe. I haven’t said two words to him, and he’s already called me a C**T. I’m still just sitting here listening to him. I mean why is he so angry, it couldn’t be just that he’s having issues with his heating or anything, he couldn’t possibly be this irate. He hasn’t had any contact with us before so it’s not that we’ve pissed him off before. I want to actually interrupt him and say “Woah now, seriously mate, what’s happened today? What else has happened apart from you heating not working that’s got you so mad? Did you walk in on your best friend balling your MRS, and then you realised the heating had gone off as well and that was the last straw?”

                It’s horrible being called names by someone who doesn’t even know you. I’m not saying I’m going to break down and cry or anything but when you can’t even speak to sort out a problem there’s not much you can do. I know it’s crap when things aren’t going your way, and I’ve been on the other side where I’ve been the one mouthing off to someone on the other end of the phone because stuff hasn’t gone my way. So I kind of understand this guy a little bit, but having been on the receiving end of this barrage of abuse I can see the error of my ways...........oh he stopped talking!

Okay so I managed to calm him down and sort stuff out for him, and even though he apologised for calling me and you know what, he still preceded to tell me what a heartless slag I was, to be fair though if you begin with C**T that’s a step in the right direction. This was a case that I was always going to fail at though because he just wanted to take it out on someone, and it happened to be me. Pause for sad face and tiny violins playing the saddest song for me! I mean take some time to think. Let’s just all try and step out of our own lives and help someone else, and really think about how the things we do and say can really affect someone else. We may not even know it but we could have seriously affected someone’s life with a word or a gesture.

                So just remember the next time your screaming down the phone at someone, that there is a person on the other end, and it’s a person with feelings that you could be hurting. Also the likely hood is that we’ve put you on mute and are really taking the piss out of you to dozens of people around us J

Actually Taking Candy from a Baby

I was sitting down watching a bit of This Morning the other day. Yes I love me a bit of daytime tele action, especially with Holly and Phil. I guarantee there’s not one person in the world that hasn’t imagined themselves in a Holly/Phillip sandwich. Anyway a story popped up that really shocked me. It was about a man who had stolen an IPhone out of the hands of a 1 year old baby as she sat in her stroller while her mother was distracted in a shopping store. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing when they showed the footage. As plain as day he’s casing the pram and waiting for the Mum to turn away. I mean what kind of people are in the world that they think this kind of behaviour is acceptable; I’m not being naive or anything I mean he obviously has little morals to be stealing anyway, but to actually steal out of the hands of a child. It takes the phrase “taking candy from a baby” to a whole new level. It’s strange that it’s now evolved to become “taking a Smartphone from a baby”, but that’s just a sign of the times as my Gran would say.

What has happened to some people in their life to think that this is okay? There seems to be little community spirit anymore. We went through a really lovely Olympic British summer where we were reminded of “the good old days”, and people started to care about their neighbour again, and then something like this happens, and it just reminds you of the people that are walking around this place.

                If that wasn’t bad enough to make you think what the world has come to then this will. My cousin Michelle has a little boy who’s Birthday Party it is this weekend. So mid week she goes shopping for stuff for the party, and all he wants in the world for his party is a Spiderman cake. Fair enough right, he’s a boy, he wants a cake for his B’day and Spiderman is awesome, good on the little lad, he’s not asking for much. The thing is, it became apparent to Michelle that every child in Cardiff who’s Birthday it is has also asked for this bloody cake. So this cake is like gold dust now. It was like The Buzz Light Year of 1995! Any parent who remembers their child asking for the Buzz Light Year that year will understand the severity of the mission it was just to get one under the tree for Christmas morning. Fortunately for my sister Laura this was not the case as our Mother pretty much rocks all kind of Awesome, so there was a happy little Laura Dalgleish that year.

                So Michelle is running from one place to the other looking for this rare Spiderman cake which cannot be found anywhere. She ends up going into Asda on her shop, and there sitting on the shelf like a beacon of hope is the last Spiderman cake in the store. She grabs it off the shelf and plops it onto the seat in the trolley elated that she’d done it. She would wake up on Saturday knowing that she had it, her little man would wake up with the world all to rights, and she would be the best mum to walk the earth because she had completed her mission!

                Continuing around the store euphorically she picks up her bits that she needs. Then disaster struck as she got to the check out. It was only when unloading the trolley that she realised that someone had gone into the trolley and taken the last Spiderman cake! It was gone! Someone, noticing that there were no more of these cakes in the store had waited for her back to be turned and just grabbed the cake. I mean it’s not like this was a cake that could have been mistaken for anything other than for a child’s party, and someone grabbed it knowing full well there would be a disappointed little child out there somewhere. Not just that, it’s really bad trolley etiquette. If it’s in the trolley, it’s more or less bought and paid for. You can’t just take out of people’s trolley. What’s wrong with people, it’s easy, if it’s on the shelf then it’s for sale! I personally don’t want to live in a world where you can just walk past a trolley and think to yourself “I want that”, and just take it. Supermarkets would become a world of chaos.

                I heard these two stories within 24 hours of each other, and I just completely lost faith in this world. Everyone seems to be out for what they can get for themselves. There are so few people who will do something for nothing. There is always a “what’s in it for me” attitude. Even innocent children are learning too early that the world can be a really hideous place. All we can do is hope that one day people will start caring about the consequences of their actions, but even that seems too much to hope for.

                However on the positive side, being awesome mums seem to run in the family because even now as I write this, Michelle’s little boy Luca will be enjoying his Spiderman cake that she managed to get him ordered in from another store. Well done Michelle, Supermum strikes again!