Is That A Chat Up Line??

Heading home yesterday a group of very loud lads came bowling onto my train, being very loud and very obnoxious little drunks. I immediately found them awesome because they were Australian. If they had been British I probably would have been really irritated but I don’t know what it is about the Aussie accent for me, I just love it. Not in a sexual way, I just think it’s one of the friendliest sounding accents in the world. There had been a match on I found out from my Aussie mate Colin, and Ecuador had beaten Australia hence why they were so loud and, well drunk. A few ended up gathering around and sitting by the back of the train where I was. Obviously I was listening to their conversation, and something that got said made me laugh. They heard it, and that was it for me. I could no longer hide in my book, and just simply sat there while a barrage of comments and questions came bowling my way.

Stuff like “Do you think my mate looks a bit feminine?”, “Do you think I can rip this chair up?” (he actually did rip the chair up), and general banter among themselves that was trying to get me to agree with their insults. I just sat there kind of smiling when one of the guys sat opposite me said.

“You’re too pretty for public transport you know?” Hmmmm. I mean, what was that? What kind of a strange thing to say to someone? Obviously I’ll take it, I mean I heard the word pretty, so thank you good sir! It’s not often one gets to feel like the prettiest whore in the whore house.  

There were so many connotations to it though. What is the level of pretty to be on transport anyway? A question that I imagine will never be answered. I should have had the balls to ask maybe. Would he have known the answer himself? We’ll never know! It’s simply the ramblings of an over excited Australian.

Of course I burst out laughing and thanked my lucky stars that the train was pulling into my stop. It did get me thinking however of the various chat up lines and inane first date questions that I’ve had in the past. Sometimes you just think, do guys really think that’s what women want to hear?  Maybe it’s the pressure of talking to a girl that gets to men sometimes. I don’t believe that was the case with the Aussie guy. That was just a lot of alcohol, and a little stupidity. 

Nowadays there is a lot more equality between men and women, but there is still the unspoken rule that women want men to come onto them. To ask them out. To chase them. There’s a lot of pressure there for men, and I’m not saying if the roles were reversed I’d be good at it. I know I definitely wouldn’t have the guts to ask a man out, or even ask for a number. So hats off to you for bravado. I like to think however that I could come up with better lines than what I’ve heard in the past and what girlfriends of mine have told me. Forget the lines and have a conversation. I truly believe that a chat up line can only succeed if it’s so bad it creates a massive awkward silence that ends in tear filled laughter. Make a girl laugh and she’s putty in your hands. If she doesn’t laugh she’s just a prick and you’re better off without her anyway.